Not Being Offended – Transcript:

um let’s uh turn to matthew 13 to start off with let’s get right into into scripture turn to matthew 13. and um i’m going to talk today about not being offended don’t be offended at my talk tell everybody off don’t be offended no i am uh i’m going to talk about not being offended and that comes in many different forms first of all you don’t have to turn here but in matthew 11 it says blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in me so not being offended in jesus who is the word of god not being offended in the word of god we were blessed uh to not be offended in the word of god at some point when we were baptized and spirit-filled and we spoke in tongues uh we might have been offended at first but eventually we either decided to test it or get over it or something and became and became not offended so uh blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in me but uh offenses in this world come in many different uh forms many shapes many sizes and here in uh in this familiar parable of the solar and the seed i was going to bring out a few things here so we’ll read the parable first in matthew 13 verse 3 very familiar to everyone and he spake many things unto them in parables saying behold a sower went forth to sow and when he sowed some seeds fell by the wayside and the fowls came and devoured them up some fell upon stony places where they had not much earth and for with they sprung up because they had no deepness of earth and when the sun was up they were scorched because they had no root they withered away in verse seven and some fell on thorns and the thorns sprung up and choked them but others fell on good ground and brought forth fruit some hundredfold some sixtyfold and some thirtyfold

so uh this is the parable of the sower and sea we got a few different categories these of course are those who um talking about those who had the gospel preached to them and the different things that could happen to them we know that the first one in verse 4 that fell by the the wayside means the word

was just taken uh straight straight from them as soon as they heard it or uh maybe the next day after they heard it but they didn’t get very far when they heard the word nothing really happened and then uh the one in verse five is the stony places this is the one i’m going to bring out and focus on a little bit more but it talks about um they didn’t get they they didn’t have a deep root they didn’t become strong and when tribulation came when trials came here it talks about the sun the hot sun came they dried up because they didn’t have a strong root they weren’t getting the water they weren’t uh able to hold on to the tribulation of the sun and then there’s the thorns which is the cares of the world this is somebody who has received the word probably baptized and spirit-filled but the cares of the world uh choked them up and then there’s the the good fruit ones that bear good fruit and i would say that you you could even still be somebody that bears fruit spirit filled you’re baptized and you you’re bearing some fruit and still fall back into one of these other categories because the cares of the world could still come and pull you away and distract you and the root if you don’t if you don’t keep yourself topped up if you don’t say strong in the lord if you don’t keep those roots down if you don’t keep drinking the living water which is the word then you two can wither up when trial and tribulation come comes your way

um it talks about in verse skip down to verse 20 and he explains a little bit in verse 20 the he that receiveth the seed in stony places the same as he that heareth the word and anon with joy receiveth it verse 21 yet he uh sorry yet hacking not rude in himself but dureth for a while or endures for a while for when tribulation or persecution arise it says because of the word by and by he is offended so the description here is someone that’s not strong enough to endure being offended as it was explained here um and it says by the word so tribulation or persecution arises because of the word um the outside world um giving us a hard time about following the word that might be the first thing that comes to mind so it says persecution because of the word and you think okay so that means i’m preaching the word or i’m following the word and somebody from the outside is persecuting me because of that that might be the first and most obvious thing that that we think of um i think it could also be correction or encouragement by the word just hearing what it is that we have to do or keep doing or or how we should behave and this could come from my talk this could come from uh you going and talking to somebody or someone coming and talking to you about something for encouragement

we could be offended for those things and that is by the word it could just be not uh agreeing with or not wanting to do what the word says on your very own without even being spoken to um you might uh think that some of the things that the bible’s instructing you to do that you just can’t do and so you’re offended by it or some of the things that the bible is instructing you to do and the word of god tells you to do you think it’s not fair of me to have to do that and so you’re offended by the word you might think it’s not fair that you have to give up something or it’s not fair that you have to um you know look on the things of others or it’s not uh fair that uh i have to esteem someone above myself and put myself last you might be offended for those things that the bible talks about um

and there’s and there’s lots right there’s lots of those types of things in the scriptures um

and we’ll go on we’ll go on from there and the amplified

and the amplified uh i’m going to read you can turn there if you want to but i’m just going to read out the amplified version and it’s psalm 55 and verse 12 and what i’m reading this for is as an example of how it feels to be hurt by someone who is close to you so we know that if someone walked down the street and yelled something to you that was offensive you don’t care very much because you don’t know that person they don’t know you but when somebody is close to you a husband or wife family member or brother or sister in the lord they are closer to you and so they have this ability to hurt you worse and your expectation of what they what they need to do for you is high right so an example comes from david in his tribulation i’m not saying his reaction here is one that we should have it’s not but it’s just um it expresses how it feels uh from the word of god better than better than i could do on my own so in the amplified psalm 55 verse 12 it says for it is not an enemy who taunts me then i could bear it nor is the one who has hated me

um who insultedly exalts himself against me then i could hide from him but it is you a man equal to my counsel my companion and my familiar friend we who had a sweet fellowship together who walked to the house of god in company

that’s he’s saying that’s the difference this is somebody that i know this is somebody that’s close and then and then his reaction to these things a natural reaction i assure you says let them go down alive to sheol the netherworld or the place of the dead

well first it says let death come deceitfully upon them then let them go down to sheol for evil of every kind is in their dwelling and in their hearts and in their midst so david was so hurt here by somebody that was close to him that offended him um um and whether they meant to or not was beside the point this is how he felt and his his reaction is lord i want them to die and i want them to go to the nether world we might have heard people say those kinds of things you know when people in the world are offended and that’s his reaction here too now again that’s not the reaction that we’re going to have but this expression from david here of how it felt

um and just to elaborate on that you don’t turn there it’s just one scripture in proverbs 18 it says a brother offended is harder to be one than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle so trying to win somebody over that’s that’s been uh offended a brother somebody who’s close that you’ve offended basically is impossible is what scripture is saying or nearly impossible and it’s something that that person then has to do themselves it’s hard to win them from the outside it’s hard to appease them from the outside and i don’t know how much appeasing should always be done but it’s something that has to come from the inside of that person who was offended right um they have to they have to chip in they have to do some work they have to do these things uh themselves and we’ll talk about that now so let’s go to first corinthians

those have been around a while and know the scriptures know that okay this is this is a a section all about love so we’re going to read about that and just bring out a couple things from there to apply to this about not being offended um so we have two sides of a coin we have we try not to offend anyone besides maybe what the gospel does on its own um that their heart would be pricked and that they would turn and that they would um that they would come to know the lord uh but other than that we try not to and um and there’s another side of the coin which is to not be offended or get easily offended and i heard pastor pete talk about this uh once at a camp and um said something to the effect to the effect of if uh if someone is always stepping on your toes maybe it’s time to move your toes or get some steel-toed shoes or something right um sometimes the person with the ending they’re getting their toes stepped on needs to do some work as well okay first corinthians 13 verse talks about love uh and he says charity but charity is love in this uh in these verses though i speak with tongues of men and of angels and have not love i am become as sounding brass or tinkling symbol so it’s like somebody’s just hitting a symbol on a drum set or a gong or something um and though i have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge and though i have all faith so that i can move mountains and i have not love i am nothing so this love thing is very important as we’re bringing out we know this already but even putting it above all of these things which we talk about all the time which we have to build up and think about all the time like faith saying even if i have the greatest faith if i don’t have love it doesn’t mean anything verse 3 and though i bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though i give my body to be burned and have not love it profit profit mean nothing um love suffers long and is kind um love envy if not doesn’t get jealous of wanting uh something that they don’t have or some what somebody else is doing or experiencing love vaunteth not itself you don’t get uh puffed up verse five uh does not behave itself unseemly seeketh not her own so in love when you have love for someone there’s no self-interest out of that it’s all about them it’s not about you at all it says is not easily provoked so we talk about offense uh getting offended well it’s not matching the description of love for the person being offended just as much as it’s not matching the description of of love to offend the same thing is happening on the other side it’s not matching the description of love being offended either and it says love thinking thinketh no evil

rejoices not in iniquity but rejoice in truth for seven bearing all things believing all things hoping all things enduring all things charity never faileth this is verse 8

charity never faileth but when there be prophecies whether there be prophecies they shall fail whether there be tongues they shall cease whether there be knowledge it shall vanish away for we know in part and we prophecy in part but when that which is perfect is come when the lord returns we rise to meet him in the air then that which is in part shall be done away and talks about these things in part to prophecy to speak in tongues and all these things those are for us now when the lord comes back we’ll need those anymore but what will remain is still love

and it is here now as well it just goes on to say when he was a child spoke as a child i understood as a child um i thought as a child when i became a man i put away childish things for now we see through a glass darkly we don’t we don’t understand everything that that that’s there it says but then when the lord comes back face to face we’ll understand we’ll see clearly he said now i know in part then i shall know even as i am known so those other things what you talked about um um prophecies speaking in tongues all these things um

are going to are going to uh are going to eventually pass it says in verse 13 and now abideth faith so we need that now faith we have hope now we have charity now love all these three things he says but the greatest of these is charity is love the greatest of these is is charity

um

yeah she’ll remain um so uh just to recap there love is not going to be um web seeks not her own it’s selfless it’s more concerned with giving and helping then than it is receiving not easily provoked won’t be offended by things other people say or do or things that people don’t say or don’t do uh thinks no evil is one of the things that said said we view our brethren um uh thinking evil if we if we view our brethren as uh selfish or uncaring or anything uh negative uh brought some of this out at uh camp too during my few minutes there and um uh scripture you don’t have to turn to to this one if you don’t want to either but in matthew 5 verse 22 but i say unto you whosoever is angry with his brother without cause shall be in danger of the judgment that makes sense without cause of course but then it says whosoever shall say to his brother raqqa shall be in danger of the council raqqa is like an insult he’s calling somebody stupid or something it says whosoever shall say thou fool shall be in danger of hellfire so just some reminders from us for us from the from the scriptures um and be very careful about you know our response and um

looking to ourselves and and and and focusing on ourselves so much that um that we’re offended based on what other people say or do or what they don’t do in verse 5 um out of the amplified bible i’m going to read that

um from the charity verses there it says of love it is not rude it is not self-seeking it is not provoked nor overly sensitive and easily angered it does not take into account a wrong endured

so if you go back to your kids as an example i think my kids have wronged me a time or two a time or two probably wrong to them as well but i love them and i don’t hold those things to their um well i don’t bring it up all the time i don’t um i don’t make that change how i feel about them i don’t uh think that uh they are all of these evil things because of it right i just move on they’re growing they’re learning but it’s the same with us every one of us brothers and sisters we’re growing we’re learning um we’re battling constantly our natural man our our our mind the things that happen to us and um and it can be difficult because the natural way is a way of vengeance the natural way is a way of uh voicing your discontent if you look on the internet now which you might have seen anyone seen the internet um

there’s lots of people offended now it seems like being offended is very popular um even those who would not have been offended before can see how popular being offended is now and one a little piece of i’m offended too

right and it may not be that it’s actually popular it may just be that people who who are offended people who are upset tend to talk more and express that more than the people who are not and if you know a little bit about business reviews you’re more likely to get a dissatisfied review than someone who is satisfied or happy with the service because people want to complain they want to tell somebody it’s very hard to get somebody who is happy to tell somebody it’s easy to get somebody who is upset to tell somebody and so we have that we have that uh misery always um loves company misery loves company so they band together and you have groups of offended people but we’re not like that in the lord and the world maybe on the internet might not see us or hear us not complaining because it’s just an inaction it’s not doing anything right it’s forgetting about it it’s moving on it’s focusing on bigger and better things

but i just thought it was good there in verse five that uh um does not take into account a wrong endured so that’s from the amplified bible

so what does love look like um just a few examples from memory from the from the scriptures love looks like uh david not laying a finger on on saul

when he had every right naturally to do so saul was after him saul wanted to murder him continually tried to murder him threw a spear at him had soldiers after him hunted him down and when and when david had the opportunity he said i’m not gonna lay a finger on him because he’s the lord’s elect is what it came down to but uh it’s a show of love maybe not for saul himself but for the lord and sometimes in forgiving people we have to think of it like that as well it might not be for that person but for ourselves and for the lord because that’s how the lord wants us to operate uh love looks like jesus not calling down a legion of angels to save himself in the situation when he was taken captive he was being led to the cross um and all this bad stuff was about to be endured he didn’t have to actually do it he could have called down the legion of angels to wipe everybody out he did not do that um love is like the lord asking god to forgive these same people who tortured him and put him to death

um not taking into account the wrong that was endured by those people he still died for those people

uh love is uh jesus washing the disciples feet

being a servant um even in something that seems unnecessary as as washing someone’s feet didn’t seem like someone was in need of feet washing but you just did it as a servant to them and as an example to us to to be the same way love is jesus going to the cross for us we kind of covered that already when we didn’t deserve it and still don’t deserve it by the way love is actually never deserved so if you’re holdings anyone up to a standard before you can love them then that’s not the way to do it love is uh is not deserved it’s just something that you do and something that you uh just commit to and we do it for the lord ultimately praise the lord um okay moving right along let’s go to romans uh 12. if we would

i don’t have too many more scriptures really

romans 12 we’ll start in verse 1.

um and reading this in the context of uh what if what if you are wronged what if somebody offended you and they shouldn’t have and they are wrong about it um how do you how do you handle these things so in romans 12 1 i beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of god that you present your bodies a living sacrifice holy acceptable unto god which is your reasonable service so just right there we we can read we as natural men and women as natural people don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things we put that in the burial of baptism and what we have now what we’ve been given in the newness of life to the lord to live unto the lord is what we do with this natural body and calling that a living sacrifice and it says which is your reasonable service to be saved from a life without the lord to be saved from uh not having the lord eternally and to be able to be with the lord and to inherit um all the things that the lord will give us to receive all his promises uh even now the things that we receive of him this is your reasonable service to live like he wants you to live and to behave like he wants you to behave uh nothing is too great uh um a thing to forgive nothing is uh is too hard for you to do he’s given you the ability or he will give you the ability if you ask we know in john 3 it says in verse 30 it says he must increase but i must decrease i probably say that all the time um but uh that’s that’s the concept right that’s the concept we are last that we put that we put others first and this is how the lord wants us to to operate skip down to verse 10 in romans 12. i’m just going to skip around a bit in this one

verse 10 says be kindly affection one to another with brotherly love and honor preferring one another preferring one another and there were there weren’t any fine prints here there weren’t any you know if statements here it just says do it just commit to doing it and do it this way

um we’ll skip down to 14. bless them which persecute you bless and curse not most of us know that we’re not going to go curse somebody or maybe we know that we need to keep our anger under control we don’t have outbursts and things like that um but it goes beyond just outbursts it goes beyond just cursing it and it goes into actual um forgiveness of that person and to knowing that um none of this really matters right and that’s serving the lord that that matters the most verse 17. recompense to no man evil for evil so there’s no revenge there’s no avenging there’s no any of that uh provide things honest in the sight of all men in verse 18 if it be possible as much as life in you live peaceably with all men we heard that recently in another talk verse 19 dearly beloved avenge not yourselves avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath for it is written vengeance is mine and i will repay saith the lord

verse 20 therefore if thine enemy

we’re not enemies here actually none are really our enemy when it comes down to it sometimes this is our mindset though uh if if an enemy hunger feed him if he thirsts give him drink for in doing so thou shalt he calls a fire upon his head um not that we want to heat coals of fire on anyone’s head or we desire to do any one damage but if damage is justified if a vengeance is justified it’s by the hand of the lord and not ours

it’s just not up to us so it says you just keep on doing good you just keep on forgiving you just keep on serving me and helping others do that and i’ll take care of the rest says the lord it says in verse 21. be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good

um another one you don’t have to turn to but in leviticus verse 19 or chapter 19 verse 18 says thou shalt not avenge nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself i am the lord

um got plenty of time we can turn to this one ecclesiastes

ecclesiastes is a book of shared wisdom

by the wisest man to ever roam the earth got to experience anything and everything to find out what really really matters in this world and what really matters in life and what really matters solve uh following the lord

in ecclesiastes chapter 7 verse 20 it says for there is not a just man upon the earth

that do with good and send if not verse 21 also take no heed unto all words that are spoken lest thou hear thys thy servant curse thee for oftentimes also for oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise has cursed others

so wisdom from this wise man here um saying okay no one is actually perfect no one can even be in the category of good or without sin and he’s saying

don’t be offended if you hear someone speak something against you

don’t care for those things don’t worry about those things it says because you’ve done the same thing yourself

and i think it’s very um very interesting that the bible states it as if every man and woman on earth will do this because we probably all have um and it speaks to us as if everyone’s doing this so um praise the lord um no just man upon the earth do not uh do not be offended or hold somebody um to these things praise the lord let’s go to mark now chapter nine just a couple more to finish up on

in mark chapter nine um jesus was walking with the disciples

and um

and he had to he’s continually teaching them they were talking amongst themselves just kind of following behind jesus going where he lives and and having a discussion about who would be greatest in the kingdom of heaven having followed jesus and all this

and mark 9 verse 35

35 he sat down and he called the twelve and said unto them if any man desire to be first the same shall be last of all and servants of all so we we know these things we know about serving everybody else and um and all that but it’s just a reminder to us that this is our this is our purpose this is our calling we’re gonna we’re gonna we we preach the gospel we know that we have um we have this amazing life in in the lord but all of this other stuff or george which we’re instructed to do um being being offended getting offended just gets in the way of those things gets in the way of our purpose it gets in the way of building um the body right it gets in the way of us building the um building the church of preaching the gospel of nurturing those that are here of feeding the sheep that are here it really gets in the way of that and i’ll just pause right there for a second um one of the reasons i’m i’m bringing all this out is because um we’ve been in the lord for a while now about about two decades and i’ve seen a lot of people leave because they’re offended by someone

i would say most people after if they’ve if they’ve gone through that sore in the seed the parable that we started with if they’ve if they’ve received the word on on on pretty good ground and they’ve stayed and they’ve bared some fruit and it’s been a number of years then the biggest danger for them about not ending up with the lord his offense is being offended probably the number one thing i would have to guess just from observing um is being offended and it will take people out and i have also heard probably from 80 90 of all brothers and sisters at some point i left a good uh 10 20 margin in case you don’t want to put yourself in this category but i’ve heard from 80 90 percent of all brothers and sisters in the lord how they at some point felt that someone offended them that they could not get over it that they couldn’t look at somebody the same way that um someone didn’t do for them what they thought should be done for them including me including us in fresno california with a new baby which was sage who wasn’t a very pleasant baby uh feeling you know feeling like why isn’t somebody helping or doing something or help you know whatever we’ve uh i’ve experienced this and i’ve heard like i said 80 and 90 of all brothers and sisters say something like that at some point so i think this is a very big deal to be reminded of these things so um yeah praise the lord let’s go to the next chapter chapter 10 this is our last and final scripture

verse 43

but so shall it not be among you meaning great in the world what does great in the world mean that’s not the same for us what great in the lord means is different but whosoever will be great among you shall be your minister or servant or helper or friend or whatever you want to put there you’re a minister that’s what we’re here to do is to minister to brothers and sisters to preach the gospel to the world that uh that they may come in and be ministered to as well um whoever shall be great among you shall be your minister verse 44 and whosoever of you shall be chiefest so the most great top banana shall be servant of all so again just emphasizing the uh serving sort of attitude verse 45 for even the son of man so jesus came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give his life as a ransom for many so we look at our example we look at the lord jesus and we wash the feet oh he died for us when we did not deserve it and and uh all these things that he did um that’s our example right uh not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give his life as a ransom if we take that on ourselves if you just edit the words a little bit i have a little quote for you to maybe uh hang up somewhere if you rearrange the words and put it on yourself as jesus was the example i am here not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give my life which we read before was our reasonable service i’ll leave it there